I watched a video, today...

I watched a video, today.

I certainly didn’t have to, and I have to be truthsome a little in that I didn’t even want to. My many years scouring the internet and social media have told me to heed the warning “what has been seen cannot be unseen”. I knew that I was but a mere click away from having my world upended and all I had to do was to simply move my mouse to the next link to preserve what little sanity I had in my little world; it a tale of its own woe these days.

I could preserve my world and keep my own understanding to that of the side lines; to the plight of others I know to be bad, but not to really know how bad because I am not them, and never can be. I could preserve my sense of activism by yelling from the bleachers “NO! THIS IS WRONG!” as if that, and that alone, somehow made me right and well with the world; with my fellow citizens… with myself.

One simple shift of my wrist would take me to the latest gossip about the next super hero movie, or of adorable cats, the silly things we do in front of the watching camera phones, or of our new celebrated achievement - to circle a gas giant. And in any of these things I could escape my own perceived troubles and tell myself; “look, don’t you see? Everything’s fine. Everything’s going to turn out alright. You’ll see.”

I watched a video, today.

I certainly didn’t have to, and to be truthsome a little I should not have to summon up my courage to have to, either. And not just because what it will show me will shatter my own personal comfort; I should never have to summon courage to challenge myself in my own preconceptions. No, to the point I should be always eager to question my self-knowledge and the frontier of my own personal understanding and identity.

But I had to summon my courage because of how easy it was not to. To tell myself dismissively that again man’s apathy to his fellow man would guide an errant hand in a deed so dastardly regardless of the motivations that would drive it would be a wrong so large. I had to summon my courage because I needed to take this upon myself – as we all should – in solidarity with my fellow man, even if I can never walk not a single step in their shoes.

And not for some inherited penance, or to align myself with an agenda. No mere political ideal itself has that weight. No, I had to summon my courage because it was simply the very right thing to do. To bear witness to a tragedy, to taste this bitterness so that I can know it, own it, and be one with it. I had to summon my courage and dare to not be me, but to be those others around me, whose plight I am blind to, despite how hard I try to look.

I watched a video, today.

I certainly didn’t have to, and I have to be truthsome in that I am no stranger to death. Not in that I have a colorful tale to tell of personal heroism in the face of adversity, which would be, if not a lie, a disservice to this moment; for my survival was all but in the bag. And certainly not in the notion that, having seen country, I know a thing or two about hunting and the nature of the wild. And I know there are those who in the day to day of their lives have come to see death with a keener eye than even me.

But in such a time, and in such a place, is it fair that I should even have to ask how is it that for the simple fact of birth, some now must walk with a comfort in their proximity to a line in someone else’s world? In my world…? Never should there be a time in the days of anyone where the senselessly fallen should be an everyday occurrence of no big importance; another moment in passing between sunsets. 

The 21^st century is here and now. I don’t have a flying car. Super farming hasn’t fed the world. Men do not yet walk on distant planets. The common cold remains common. And in the day and age of information, learning, and – hopefully – understanding available at the push of a button for what should be all, there is no ground to which we can stand upon at level and be one people. And it’s not enough for me to stand upon my little ledge and call out “NO! THIS IS WRONG!” It’s only enough when I find myself upon that ground, with my fellow man, woman, and child, of all colors and all creeds, of all heritage and all histories, of every gender and no gender, of every age and every form of love, in knowing and sharing both our triumphs and our trials. And in so to drown out the cries of our detractors with the strength of our hope and fellowship.

I watched a video, today…

Good night, Alton; your path to redemption cut short.
May you travel well.

And I'm out...

With last week’s involuntary forced closure of (temporary) Grand Central, and the making Itinerant of Neverland Transit Authority and its Conductor, a hard look upon was called to on life in the San Francisco Bay Area and the greater California region. The kind that requires more than two Space Balls and a jumbo economy sized Ace hair pick. And after much ruminations what was the outcome?

Given the trends in the economy, and the direction that the state is taking, that there is little to no value to remain in the place of my birth and the first forty two years of life.

This was not an easy decision to come to. All factors were considered in the making of this. I looked up north in the Sacramento area but nothing in my job field paid as good as this one; which would be required to stay. I looked to see if I could endure a further commute. However, the first affordable place was Santa Rose; making my commute almost one hundred and seventy miles round trip… daily… plus a toll bridge. That would be four hours commuting – if I’m lucky, plus eight hours working with a cost so prohibitive that it priced itself right out of range.

I also took my case to my management team; explaining the economy of the area, showing them rental prices and sizes, and explaining the finer points of living in Silicon Valley (My company is based out of Waterloo, Ontario.) But, despite their assured understanding, there was no way they could issue me a cost of living increase large enough to make it worthwhile to hang on to my home.

My last day at the office is July 29^th. I’m spending this month getting things in order and getting the whole of Grand Central mobile so it can move up and into storage until I can find more stable digs. Through the grace of friends there is a place for me to land when I get up there and get solid ground under my feet.

    

I’m trying to take my anger, frustration, and trepidation and channel that energy into making this a positive adventure of change. A new city, a new state, with possibly new friends, opportunities, and building roots in one of the newest, fastest growing comic book communities in America. (Not to mention home to one of the oldest Comic Book stores, too.) I’m no stranger to Washington, but life there is certainly not life here. So this is going to be a thing, for sure. 

I am, however, not cool with how this went down. I am not cool with being forced out and away from family; especially given the timing. I am not cool being forced away from those I'm close to. I am not cool with being made into a second class citizen. And I am certainly not cool with what the San Francisco Bay Area, my home, has done to the people I know and work with around here. For as frustrated as I am with this place it does have quite a great many people and places I will miss.

But, if I have learned anything in my now four plus decades it’s that sometimes you just have to let go and move on. So, that’s what is getting underway here at Neverland Transit Authority. It’s a long haul, so we’re making sure there’s enough in the tender, the box cars are secure, and the boiler is clean and ready. If we’ve any business or personal issues needing attending to now is the time, because once this engine gets rolling there’s really no stopping it.

Or, as a mass of departing hyper intelligent mammals once said:

(Except, you know, we couldn't understand it...)