I watched a video, today...

I watched a video, today.

I certainly didn’t have to, and I have to be truthsome a little in that I didn’t even want to. My many years scouring the internet and social media have told me to heed the warning “what has been seen cannot be unseen”. I knew that I was but a mere click away from having my world upended and all I had to do was to simply move my mouse to the next link to preserve what little sanity I had in my little world; it a tale of its own woe these days.

I could preserve my world and keep my own understanding to that of the side lines; to the plight of others I know to be bad, but not to really know how bad because I am not them, and never can be. I could preserve my sense of activism by yelling from the bleachers “NO! THIS IS WRONG!” as if that, and that alone, somehow made me right and well with the world; with my fellow citizens… with myself.

One simple shift of my wrist would take me to the latest gossip about the next super hero movie, or of adorable cats, the silly things we do in front of the watching camera phones, or of our new celebrated achievement - to circle a gas giant. And in any of these things I could escape my own perceived troubles and tell myself; “look, don’t you see? Everything’s fine. Everything’s going to turn out alright. You’ll see.”

I watched a video, today.

I certainly didn’t have to, and to be truthsome a little I should not have to summon up my courage to have to, either. And not just because what it will show me will shatter my own personal comfort; I should never have to summon courage to challenge myself in my own preconceptions. No, to the point I should be always eager to question my self-knowledge and the frontier of my own personal understanding and identity.

But I had to summon my courage because of how easy it was not to. To tell myself dismissively that again man’s apathy to his fellow man would guide an errant hand in a deed so dastardly regardless of the motivations that would drive it would be a wrong so large. I had to summon my courage because I needed to take this upon myself – as we all should – in solidarity with my fellow man, even if I can never walk not a single step in their shoes.

And not for some inherited penance, or to align myself with an agenda. No mere political ideal itself has that weight. No, I had to summon my courage because it was simply the very right thing to do. To bear witness to a tragedy, to taste this bitterness so that I can know it, own it, and be one with it. I had to summon my courage and dare to not be me, but to be those others around me, whose plight I am blind to, despite how hard I try to look.

I watched a video, today.

I certainly didn’t have to, and I have to be truthsome in that I am no stranger to death. Not in that I have a colorful tale to tell of personal heroism in the face of adversity, which would be, if not a lie, a disservice to this moment; for my survival was all but in the bag. And certainly not in the notion that, having seen country, I know a thing or two about hunting and the nature of the wild. And I know there are those who in the day to day of their lives have come to see death with a keener eye than even me.

But in such a time, and in such a place, is it fair that I should even have to ask how is it that for the simple fact of birth, some now must walk with a comfort in their proximity to a line in someone else’s world? In my world…? Never should there be a time in the days of anyone where the senselessly fallen should be an everyday occurrence of no big importance; another moment in passing between sunsets. 

The 21^st century is here and now. I don’t have a flying car. Super farming hasn’t fed the world. Men do not yet walk on distant planets. The common cold remains common. And in the day and age of information, learning, and – hopefully – understanding available at the push of a button for what should be all, there is no ground to which we can stand upon at level and be one people. And it’s not enough for me to stand upon my little ledge and call out “NO! THIS IS WRONG!” It’s only enough when I find myself upon that ground, with my fellow man, woman, and child, of all colors and all creeds, of all heritage and all histories, of every gender and no gender, of every age and every form of love, in knowing and sharing both our triumphs and our trials. And in so to drown out the cries of our detractors with the strength of our hope and fellowship.

I watched a video, today…

Good night, Alton; your path to redemption cut short.
May you travel well.