I’ve sat and pondered, trying to wrap up the first forty one years of my silly little life. And, while I never advocate anyone listen to anyone else’s list of things that got them where they are – because, let’s face it, not everything works for everybody in every situation – I thought I’d take a few minutes to share what I’ve learned and what I’m going to build from as I embrace the back half of my life.
And wow; are there a lot of places I could choose to pick
from.
But the more I think on it, the less I think I have to
actually offer. I mean, I’ve chosen to stay my own man in the face of adversity
and set back; reaping both the rewards and setbacks that have come with. I’m
not one to advocate that one must conform in order to get by. I am, however,
the guy that will warn you that there are consequences to staying the course
with yourself. Often these can be very trying; both to your wallet as well as
to your soul. But in the whole of life, there will always be a cost for every
choice you make, every step along whatever path you decide to get to stepping
down. So, like Polonius to Laertes, I can only offer the tried and true advice;
to thine own self be true. Not so much in the new agey way it might have come
to mean, but in that way were you remain loyal to your own interests, fostering
your loyalties and integrity.
Because, in today’s world, there’s no shortage of shortcuts
and buy outs to tug you away from making good decisions. We’re in a world where
we’re told we no longer have to sacrifice, decide, choice, or pay a cost for
what we want. Now, thanks to modern technology, we can binge on all our shows,
movies, and pop culture. We can follow sports anywhere, anytime, and get all
our news at any time from many institutions.
But can we?
I know no one wants to hear it, but no, we can’t. There’s
only so much time we have in a day, a week, a year… a life. Gorging ourselves –
or the attempt there of – just isn’t healthy. And you may tell yourself all the
lies you want but you simply can’t do everything. Sometimes you just have to
put the book down, turn off the TV, or cut back on something in order to devote
more time to a project, a goal, or spending time with friends and family. It
does no one any good if we’re all glued to screens trying to see who is doing
who in on the latest sword and sorcery program, or what actor is playing which
superhero. No sports star needs to be followed twenty four hours a day; no
matter how good they are at their particular sport.
People are more important. People are less permanent and
more fleeting in your life than you can ever imagine. And by the time you
notice, it’s too late. We should never take anyone for granted in our daily
lives because the only time we have guaranteed is the moment we have right now;
there are no take backs, rewinds, and do-overs. I mean, you may get a second
shot at something, but that’s not always going to happen. So pay attention and
don’t be so obsessed or too afraid to set something down, put it away, or turn
it off in order to make a friend, help a friend, join a community, or learn a
skill.
But whatever you do never forget how important it is to be
polite and respective of others and in your various situations. For me I’ve
found that one of the biggest stumbles we’re making today, as a society, is
forgetting – or just plain devaluing – the importance of a little respect in
today’s world. Now I’m not saying one has to know all the thirty something
types of flatware and serving dishes on
So try and show some respect to everyone you meet. They’re
doing the best that they can, and are paying their dues just like everyone
else. It’s not just a cliché to try and resurrect and sustain some old fashion
values; it’s an imperative.
Life is a learning process, and we should never stop
learning. Which is unfortunate as there is this stigma around college and
higher learning these days. We live in an era where information flows fast and
free. We also live in an era where no
one seems to be able to handle this free flowing information. It’s like trying
to get a sip of water from a fire hose, really. Our modern life requires a new level of
learned maturity that seems more and more a difficulty insurmountable by many.
And that’s a shame because there is so much more to know, today, and so much
has grown and changed in the past couple decades, alone. To fully appreciate
our every growing, changing and complex world requires the ability of ourselves
to see well beyond the horizons our previous generations. We need to grasp the
ever shifting landscape of the human experience. Even to process the act of governance
requires more than has ever before in the history of our society; as well the
world.
So, even if you don’t need it for work, I say it’s best to
keep learning. Stay as close to the forefront as you can in a couple subjects.
Take an art class. It doesn’t have to be a university, or for a degree. Learn
to better yourself for the pure sake of it. Not only can you stay more focused and
knowledgeable, but you’ll be able to be more critical and thus make better
decisions, and that can spill over into the lives of others in ways you can’t,
as of yet, even imagine.
I have generally, in all my days, occupied the fringe of
what has been considered popular. Well, that is until recently. Today there
seems to be a run on things nerd and geek, among the throws of indie and
underground. And while I’ll stop shy of saying “I was into that before it was a
thing” I have noticed an odd turnabout, lately. It started when I heard two
guys at a bar in San Francisco discussing a bit of trivial minutia about Doctor
Who, and – wanting to be a helpful fan – I thought I’d help.
That was a big mistake.
So they ask me if I’m a fan, happy to find someone in the
bar that understands what they’re talking about. When I mention not so much
anymore, they beret me with insults, which include F-bombs, about being a “fake
fan”; despite that it comes out that I’ve watched Doctor Who literally long
then they’ve been alive. Eventually I had to make my leave to the other end of
the bar to keep a level of civility.
This is something that keeps repeating whenever someone asks
me if I’m watching whatever latest
We all have our own unique tastes in entertainment, just
like with food. And from sports teams to beer, we’ve become so obsessed over
brands that we’ll become assaultive – either verbally or, heavens forbid,
physically – when someone displays a difference of opinion about something. I,
myself, no longer use the word “fan” to describe my interests in things because
today’s “fans” highlight that the word is derived from “fanatic”; with all the baggage
and nutty behavior that entails.
This can also be extended to the most taboo of topics in our
society, today; sex. As much as someone is oft to prefer a particular physical
trait in a lover, they’re going to have a preferred style of loving. It may not
be your thing, but it is to others. It’s fair to question that, sure. But it’s
not as much to judge it. (Within certain parameters, of course. I mean no one
should be using a weed wacker in bed.) You may think you have a handle on how
things are supposed to go, but never lose sight of the idea that somewhere
someone is looking at what you like with the same quizzical look.
I guess, when it boils right down to it, I have a few things
to say:
Stick to your guns and try not to compromise your integrity
for anything, if you can help it. Sometimes you have to bend a little, here and
there. However, be prepared for the consequences of being an individual. Because
sometimes things have a cost, but you can’t really achieve anything if you’re
not willing to pay that cost. There are, after all, really no short cuts to
hard work and dedication. So try to strengthen your resolve against
distraction.
And try to be better to each other. Use your greetings and
your manners. If we give each other a little more respect, we’re less likely to
get combative, and can even foster communities, understanding, and accomplish
amazing things.
Try to stay informed about life, The Universe, and
everything. You’ll be less likely to be duped in decisions, and can stay out of
the trap that befalls those of lesser opportunity to learn. Stay constructively
critical of what those in power tell you, and keep in mind that everyone has
their own bend in life. It may not be yours, but that’s okay. As long as it’s
healthy and it’s not hurting anyone, then there’s really nothing wrong with it.
And that’s it. I can’t imagine these are any real revelation
of a sort; just the down to earth common sense that seem to no longer be
common, or sense, in the vastness of the majority. As this is the last entry of
my forty first trip around Sol, I’ll leave it here by wishing you all the best.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a huge adventure to go get ready for.
Good night, Neverland; never forget life is an adventure of
both excitement and uncertainty.
So don’t panic, and always know where your
towel is.
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