From the Conductor: Meet the women of the Galactic Gun

Following my last post, and the continued upheaval in comics, games, and geekdom, I felt it would be a nice thing for me to introduce the core group of women in the two main Galactic Gun stories. (Yes, two. Three, eventually.)

So, here they will give you just a little insight into who they are, and what they are about. While they don't represent all the women within the world of the Galactic Gun stories, these nine do have a larger impact on Justin Bailey, and the place he calls home.

From The Conductor's Office: An Apology and a Promise...

I'm having to come to terms with the fact that my world... my culture... the geek culture... is built on white male privilege, rage and dismissal of others for... well... reasons?

It's horrific that we have become the very thing that I had assumed we were all in against; the marginalization of those not us - to the extent of death threats and the ruining of others whose only crime may have been timing, poor marketing choices, or a single bad decision.  

It is my desperate hope I have not been complacent in any of this. As a nerd and a geek I know what it is to grow up marginalized for being perceived as different; to the extent of bodily harm - though no where in the same realm as the monsters of today perpetrate in the name of geeks.

No, I had it easy compared to today.

But no amount of my "white knighting"- as I will no doubt be called out as -  no amount of my best hopes and intentions cannot insulate me from the actions of my peers and my fellow geeks and nerds. In both my attempt to hold aloft my ideals of who a geek or nerd is, and my outright denial, in some cases, of the situations over the past year has made me as guilty as those who would make threats - idol or not, harass, and demean those they deem as "not us" - because of gender, orientation, or culture. I have only to ask for the forgiveness of those who have suffered at the words and deeds of my fellow geek, and my steadfast promise that I will always work to make sure my ground is moral and high, my footing true.

I am currently combing through the Neverland Transit Authority catalog of projects to make sure that all my characters are portrayed the best they can be - hero or villain. The mechanics of storytelling, regardless of tradition, must be able to grow with the times and the understanding and acceptance of modern thinking. As in all things, just because that was how we used to do it doesn't mean we should keep doing it that way.

For me personally it has come down to this; we, the geeks, who spent our young and impressionable lives being victimized and demoralized for being different, for being a "fringe minority", are not obligated by our past to work for the fair acceptance and recognition of those "not us" - women, LGBT, different cultures, and different colors, but are morally commanded by the very nature of who we are, and were, to fight for it. Gaming, comics, scifi, and fantasy are now socially accepted norms in Western Society. We have power, now. And as we've been reminded by our own past; "with power comes responsibility. And with great power comes greater responsibility."

Our power has corrupted us. We have failed in our duty to our fellow geek. Indeed, we have failed to the world. We are not heroes. We are monsters; our nerd rage our teeth as we nash and wail out to protect something we do not own - something that belongs to all those who want it. And we should know better than to deny it to them. We sought acceptance in our youth of our way.  Now we turn against those that are now us like those that stood against us when we were young, new, and naive.

Neverland Transit Authority... no, I, Charles Irons.... stands for all that is good and right in Geek culture. In the mythos of my culture great leaders have risen to defend the weak, protect the innocent, and champion the rights of those who have none to stand for them. And in our real world many do the same, now, at great peril to their professional, and personal lives. I may have no right to stand with them, but I still stand in support of them.

And I will never be wrong, again.

Making it happen: How to jazz up a photo

So, as part of my photo class this quarter I had to take an under exposed landscape picture and use Photoshop to help make it look better. of course, in my usual fashion, the How-I-Did-It part of the assignment took on as much a life as the actual assignment, itself. So, here for your pleasure and amusement is a quick tutorial on making a picture pop...

Step 1: Take the picture. In my case, hit downtown and capture an image of our most iconic structure; San Mateo county museum - formerly the old Redwood City city hall.

As you can see, this image needs a little bit of help. The building looks murky, the sky is flat, and there's not much life in this image, at all; making it hard to convey any sort of story or presence. To fix this we first need to isolate the building.

Step 2: Here I've used the Quick Selection Tool to isolate the building. Depending on the circumstances of your image you'll probably need to do some trimming of this here and there. It's going to take a little work, so don't be put off that it doesn't just get properly selected on the first pass.

Step 3: Open up Levels under the Image option in the tool bar. It'll be a side bar off Adjustments. From here you can drag the pointers on the histogram around to get the best balance. In my case, I brought up the white from 255 to 233 and the mid-range to 1.16. On the output levels I lowered black to 4 from 0.

Step 4: Under the same pull down I went to Vibrance and and knocked it up to 3 and the Saturation to 7. This was to help more with the color and tone of the bricking while maintaining the over all value of the highlights and shadows.

Step 5: Okay, it's getting there, but it's still not enough. We need to do something about the sky. So, grabbing my Quick Selection Tool, again, I selected the sky. As before, depending on the particulars of your own photo, you'll probably have to do some trimming and adding here or there. Don't skip it, though; pockets of unaffected area can really mess with the over all effect.

Step 6: To give the sky some real color and depth, I went up to Image, and opened Hue/Saturation in the Image Adjustment side menu. The sky was already the right lightness and the hue was already pretty good, so all I needed to do, here, was bump the Saturation up to 40.

Step 7: You know, it's started to look good, but the glare on this window throws the symmetry off a lot. And a photo out of balance, like this, can be distracting some. At first I tried to use the clone tool to fill in the windows from the adjacent matching window. But that proved to be too messy and didn't give me a good, tight, finish.

So, my work around was to just use the Square Marquee tool to select that adjacent window and make a copy on another layer. Then I took that copy and moved it on top of the original window. Pulling down the Edit menu, I went into Transform and did a Horizontal flip and then rotated it to get the bricks to line up. When I was done I highlighted the copy layer and the window slice layer and merged them. It's not required, of course, but I like to keep my layers neat and tidy. Plus it helps to prevent accidents like sliding, and such.

Step 8: It's almost done. But, that center window, because of the way it was shadowed by the morning storm weather light, is coming out dark; making it stand out and look out of place.

Here I took the Square Marquee tool and highlighted the affected area. I got lucky in that it was such an easy area to grab. Sometimes you'll have to use other selection tools, depending on the subject, area, and other needs. Here, under Image and Image Adjustment, I opened the brightness feature and just bumped up both Brightness and Contrast to get a better match to the two surrounding windows.

Step 8: Ta-da!

And here it is, the exact same picture with all the above edits. Here we have a really nice and vibrant image with good tones and an over all more lively feel to it. Just take a look...

Of course this is just an example for this particular photograph. However, no matter what you snap a picture of, the fundamentals are pretty much the same; to really breath life into any picture don't be afraid to play with the tools. Practice isolating different parts of your image and see how they effect the over all composition. Sometimes the smallest of changes can make the biggest of differences.

Happy shooting!

40 Qupis in 40 Days: Day 26

Yesterday we got to talking on how it's not what you say, but how you say it. Well, today we're going to continue along those lines a little more...

Chuckism #26
The louder they shout the less they want you to hear.

I've already mentioned the twenty four hour news cycle, before. But one of the more interesting things I've come across, in today's bombarding media frenzy, and, indeed, for quite some time now, is that not only will folks badger you with all kinds of wrong headedness, but they will do so with an almost commendable dogmatic dedication to doing so. Probably as much to get themselves to the believing as to anyone else. And when they don't think it's getting through, they turn up the volume.

Photo credit: Finland's Shouting Mens Choir

Of course, I'm not just talking about going from an agitated voice to a shout, and so on as much as I mean that they will not only lay upon any unsuspected ear with a feverish volume, but also with a level of quantity as to suffocate any mere thought to the contrary.

This goes about accomplishing just that. The idea here is a sound one, if you'll pardon the pun. By laying on with volume - both in sound and sound bite, the message can be overshadowed in the hype and drama that the delivery methods can stir up. Questions get lost. Logic and reason are tussled about in a cacophony of accusation and accreditation. Confusion gives rise to misconnection and hazy consluioning.

Used to be we saw this mostly between children. Yelling over each other, at such a tender, is the natural conclusion to make; the loudest is, obviously, the rightest. And if it was still just a thing to outgrow like childhood folly then there'd be no more of that.

However this has graduated from playground antics and into the realm of information dispersemen. Any chance happening onto, say, Fox News (A title used loosely.) will show you what I mean; as anchors and pundits are often to talk over, cut short, or be just plain rude to guests and experts of contrary findings. Even is so much as the governing houses of our nation we find this has become some sort of new acceptable. Today the only thing that seems to separate disagreeable children from ruling adults are the clothes and the allowances. it's kind of a sad state, these days.

My advice? I've found those that feel the need to shove things down my proverbial throat usually are doing so out of questionable motives. Often by putting to a sit and having a good listen it becomes easier to get some clarity on what it is that folks get to pontificating on. And, I have found, good facts rarely need to yell. 

40 quips in 40 days: Day 27

Sometimes it's not what's said, but how...

Chuckism #27
There are no absolutes.

Read that, again. Go ahead, I can wait...

Did you see that? Did you get that?

Life is full of opposing folks, ideas, movements, and expressions. People tend to gravitate toward them for whatever reason that they do. And when these meets get disagreeable, things can get ugly. Folk - good and bad, a like - will always look toward what gives their world security, stability, and meaning. Often the particulars aren't either here nor there as much. Lines get drawn in the sand. Rules get writ. Morals carved in stone.

No matter which way you fall to it, you're going to come down on one side of a thing or the other. The getting there's about the only thing you have claim to, regardless where you plant your feet. Science or religion? Bearded indie rock or mullet wearing classic glam? The rights of the few or of the many? Freedom of speech or guarded watchfulness of action? Taste great or less filling?

Whatever the cause, movement, idea, or musical act, though, it's really important to understand what it is you're deciding; what you are seeing, hearing, and learning. Not only being critical of what you're being told, and what conclusions you're being led to, but that you are sound in your reasoning. And that means being mindful of paradoxical thinking.

Are you getting it now? I think you might be.

I don't know how long I took the above stance in my arguments about life, the universe, and everything before I caught the very fallacy in my own statement. To see that I was taking a stance that in no uncertain terms no terms were certain kind of seems silly, now. And in my confidence I had over looked so many other options, choice, and reasons for the way that people, organizations, and schools of thought formed and grew strength.

But, most of all, I had undermined the very importance of an open mind and keen observation. And whether I may have been right or wrong was unimportant because no matter where I ended up I got there the wrong way. And we all know what happens when you skip a few steps in the instructions.

In the end, my realization made me aware that more than having an educated opinion or a strong stance is having the clarity of thought and sight to best understand where it is you're going. Because if you have the clear lay of the land, you're oft to step more sure; come to a better place naturally.

*Image credit: Bill Waterson




(Still don't get it? That statement about absolutes is an absolute statement.)

40 quips in 40 days: day 28 (Plus cashing in on an I.O.U.)

It's now only four weeks until I turn forty; the age at which many find it's high time to stop all this foolishness, put down those toys, and act your age. Of course, they clearly don't know me well, do they?

Chuckism #28
There's no wrong with your head in the clouds long as you got a toe on the ground.

Very few of us are lucky enough to born into a life where our hopes and dreams are as cherished by our family -or those that go to making our life - as they are to us. Very few of us have probably never heard words amounting to ridicule, or being berated for not thinking about life; not being more down to earth. And I would love to tell you that I was one of those lucky few.

But I wasn't.

No, unfortunately for myself, like so many, most of my dreams were excused off as the fancies of youth; things I'd out grow. Or, as it appeared I wasn't going to, shot down by so many words. (And we already covered that, last night.) So I can't say, with too much power to it, that I grew up with much encouragement in the endeavors that would eventually rule my life. (Ironic since a very large portion of my family has some form of artistic talent.)

And maybe that's okay. At least insomuch as it showed me something very important; something that has kind of kept me stable...

Okay, stop laughing; there actually is a measure of stability in my life. It may not be what you might call stable, but it's my stable, and it works.

Anyway, something that has helped to keep me stable in life; where the practical real world is concerned, anyway. And that is knowing how to navigate the demands of the every day mundane gears of living in a society. The ins and outs of keeping your boiler churning are really important, because, if you can't keep up the pressure, then you can't keep the wheels turning, and you'll never make it down that track. Well, not very far, at any rate.

So, I say, if you've got big hopes and dreams, you get to chasing them. As long as you know where you're stepping, there's no hurt in looking up and beyond. In fact, it's pretty much a huge part of living a fuller life. And that brings me to one of the two make up Chuckisms I still owe...


Chuckism #33
Real lucky are the folk who find themselves gone before their dreams.

As an author, I've prided myself as an observer of people... even if I can't understand half the weird stuff they do. But one thing I have come to find is that those who are living with no dream in their heart aren't really alive. whether it's something big, like writing the Great American Novel (tm), or something as easy and fun as getting that full assortment of that rare line of keepsakes, most everyone has themself some sort of dream.

But life - or at leas those who go about trying to cast a how-to on living - has this way of putting to rest dreams, for some odd reason. (No, not really odd. But that's neither here nor there in terms of what I have to say.) So it gets to putting forth a grind, trying to get you to stop all that dreaming nonsense and get to work making money, babies, etc. Because, well, that's what life is supposed to be all about, according to life... or those who go about trying to say so.

But one thing I have come to find in this world is that, at least around here, in the Western World (tm), that those little dreams we have to bake the perfect cake, or open a little Etsy shop, or even publish art and comics are the very things that stoke the flames of our heart's fire box. And like many things in life, it's not so the there as it is to the getting of there; the journey as apposed to the destination.

When that's gone, so is much of the cause and thrill of living. The trying of new things is left for the reliable. Outings take a back seat to the couch. Growth is replaced by a safe, warm box. And learning is dropped for a mouth full of spoon fed media culture.

Now, no one has said that dreams must come true. After all, I will probably never be able to colonize Mars with Legos. But, that being that, chasing dreams is the thing that fills a life with its meaning, and its purpose. It can fill a soul with drive, ambition, and, who knows; maybe even be passed on to an entire new generation of folk ready to make for that horizon.

Dreams refined tools, created art and architecture, cured sickness, took us across the lands, into the sky, and to the moon. Dreaming gives us tomorrow, and a world of promise to carry on for generations to come. Now that's what I call living. To go on without them is not to be alive at all; it's just being.

*Image credit unknown

40 quips in 40 days: day 29

I've been recently reminded of the value, importance, and affect of the things we say. Funny that, because today's Chuckism seems right on topic...

Chuckism #29
Words can support like bone and still slash like a knife.

As the only fully verbal animal know to exist, so far, language - in all its forms - is probably one of the most powerful tools we, as a species, have ever developed. It's the primary method of communication; the spoken word. With it, in collection, we can formally pass down knowledge, express needs, wants, and desires, call into accord agreements, declare values and ethics, impose rights and govern.

In it's most used forms, though, we have mastered the ability to communicate expressions of love and support... and hate and ill. And, sometimes - more often than not, in many of today's more public circles - at the same time.

Seriously, here. As both verbal and literary, we have laid down the most expressive and communicative motifs through poetry, prose, myth, and the story telling traditions of our ancestors. When we didn't know of the world around us, we built elaborate legends and tales to help us understand our existence, and quell fear in the darkest of night. We created a bridge between hearts, to hold fast ourselves in times of both great joy and sorrow. Speeches have found common ground between adversaries, and have called to action those able in times of need.

Truly there has been no greater creation of man than words.

However, words can tear down, rip soul's flesh, and cause great injury to the mind. Words can insight to violence. A mere phrase dropped to the right ear, the right malcontent, can bring to bare the foulest of thoughts, the heinous of deeds. And in the rhetoric of politics and religion, words can take beautiful forms and still lash out to cut and bleed us. They are a powerful tool that must be wielded with both understanding and restraint. Sometimes we can be oblivious to the damage we can cause one another by our mere stray verbiage; which is often unintentional. And sometimes we can be surgical; striking with our pens and our mouths, delivering blows the likes of which no bullet, edge, or other weapon could compare.

After all, I may heal from sticks and stones, but words could surely destroy me...

*Image credit: "Hiking Artist"

40 quips in 40 days: day 30

Gah! Only a month until I'm officially an old man... well, by some standards, anyway. I guess it's all on how you look at it. Which brings us to today's Chuckism...

Chucksim #30
When things get so large a step of distance helps to get a touch of perspective.

I think we've all experienced the insurmountable to-do list, assignment, or chore that can seem quite overwhelming. And I know that just about everyone has, at some point, felt dwarfed by the sheer volume of suck that life can bring down upon them. These things can seem daunting, to say the least. And, more to the point, can be down right smothering; threatening to swallow us whole.

But then there is the point that life is all about scale. And, sometimes, we can lose track of that scale when we find ourselves buried in... well... life.

Nearly twenty years ago I had set forth a simple, yet concise set of things I had expected for myself by the time I hit forty. And despite the best of intentions, at this point, I have been bombarded by so many unexpected twists and turns that I am, for the most part, really not anywhere I thought I'd be by now. It has, for a while, left me feeling distraught at the notion that I am close to failing life.

But then I can take a step back and look again; with more of my life in view. And then the picture starts to come better into focus. I have had a wealth of experiences never planned on, or even expected. I've been on stage, TV, and radio. (At one point all in a month.) I have traveled across the United States for work and pleasure. I have put my hands to tasks that have left me skilled in a myriad of fashions. I have met and been with people from many walks of life, professions, cultures, and distant places. And all my experiences have made my art and craft stronger; insuring against the failure that was more inevitable had I begun my journey much sooner.

In the larger scale of things, though I may not be on my path to world domination through comics and cartoons - yet, I have had a very adventurous life, so far. That start has set me up for the next leg of the journey. And, from here, though I can see that the next part of this journey has some ups and downs, the over all road isn't as overwhelming.

The slopes of life can be easier to conquer once we put size and scale to them; revealing more of our successes and helping to see past the mount and to the horizon beyond. All it sometimes take is backing up some to get a better view.

Funny, that...

*Image credit: Monica Dalmasso/ G. Broust

40 quips in 40 days: day 31

Okay, yes, a couple got skipped. And though I will try for a make up, the fact that they were skipped ties in directly with today's Chuckism...

Chuckism #31
Sometimes it's the falling down that gets to letting you know there might be a problem.

I suspect this happens to more than just a few of us; you're cruising along, just fine like, when suddenly you take a stumble on something in your life that you never suspected. Or, at least, had thought was dealt with and done. And then, like an 1980's movie ninja, appears out of nowhere in a ball of smoke and magic to thwart the best of your intent.

It's sort of like the death of a thousand paper cuts thing... well, hopefully without the death part. One little ding is okay; expected, really. We get them all the time. A couple little more and it's manageable, for sure. But pile them up, slowly, and that's a weight that is due to come to bare. At that point, it don't take much more than a straw - any innocuous little thing - to break that camel's back.

At that point you're left crumbling, wondering; "what the hell just happened?! When did THAT become an issue?!" And, in truth, it may have been a thing, but it really wasn't THE thing. It was the last thing you could stand before you couldn't stand no more. And down you tumble, left to pick up the pieces and wonder to yourself the hows, whys, and whens of your predicament.

I  have no advice, here; this is something I suffer, and just did suffer this past weekend. So I don't know if there's any way you can track these sort of things. Maybe it's good to have close friends and allies. Maybe it's good to be honest to yourself and admit when you've over done it; taken on more than you can handle on your own. Maybe this syndrome is just the symptom of a bigger problem...

Whatever the case may be, when you get to taking a tumble, look on it more as a chance to sit, take the lay of the land, and catch your breath. Sure, there will be a reckoning for your spill. But it's just as much an opportunity as it is a set back. You get the chance to put right what was going wrong before you hit that point of no return.

*Image credit: http://h-a-y-s-t-a-c-k-s.net/

40 quips in 40 days: day 34

Okay, this one's coming a bit late in the day...

Chuckism #34
Every great discovery usually starts with three simple words; I don't know.

Alright, that might count as four; depending on how you handle contractions. (No need to time them, though.)

One of the most amazing things about life is that we come into it basically a blank slate. That is, to say, that outside of crying, pooping, and eating, we pretty much don't have a clue about the world we come into. From the very first sounds and sights we see to the last life is full of new things to see, hear, experience, and learn. In fact, it's something we pretty much do all the time.

Well, if we're lucky, that is.

Folks get to worrying on the idea that their world is full of unknown. And, yes, that can be scary, it can also be thrilling. Every day brings us into the possibility of knowing something we hadn't until then. We get the chance to grasp the majesty of the universe through the people, places, and things that in habit it. New foods can open us to new cultures. New music can open us to new ways in how we relate to one another. Every time you encounter something new you are being given a chance to grow and discover, not only your world, and the people in it, but also the very nature of reality and how to find a place in the cosmos.

For those eager and brave enough to try and grasp the very fabric of existence... or, at least, to tackle that new pie recipe... the journey usually starts with an interest or a query. You go to find an answer, or to fill in a blank and come to the inevitable conclusion that all folk do when they get somewhere they can't then rightly back out of, or move through. They need to fill some gaps because this is something wholly new and unexpected.

And that's one of life's greatest treasures. We don't come ready equipped with answers. If we're brave enough to ask the questions, and braver still to find the answers (Which have a sometimes bothersome habit of being just more questions.) then the world unravels its mysteries to us like little gems; each one filled with wonder and beauty.

"What's beyond those hills?" "I don't know; let's go find out."

"How does that work?" "I don't know; let's figure that out."

"Can that be fixed?" "I don't know; let's try."

"Why did he do that?" "I don't know; let's read what he said about it."

"Where did this all come from"? "I don't know; let's study the cosmos."

Discovery might be the act of feeding your curiosity. Here's to hoping we're never truly satisfied...

*Image credit: American Museum of Natural History (No photographer listed)

40 quips in 40 days: day 35

So, as the twenty first century dawned on us - ready, or not - it became clear that, with twenty four hour news cycles, instant communication, social networks, mobile phones, and tablets, we were truly living in the information age; where anything that happened, was happening, or was about to happen could and would be known right there and then by anyone, anywhere. But even if the information comes at you faster, and from more sources, one thing has always remained true...

Chuckism #35
3 out of 4 statistics are some kind of ratio; 25% are not. Best mind the clever tongue that knows this.

Today we are practically bombarded by news, information, reality shows... which are the farthest on TV from reality (How's that for ironic?)... celebrity hype rumor mills, and more kinds of fandom then was even in my early day, or we could even ever hope to dream of. Politicians earn the rights to an Oscar as much as any Hollywood star. And experts come in waves arguing this or that; from gods and commandments to dooms days and killer asteroids. This is no longer the age where our folks sat down with the trusty paper, or the days when CNN was going to revolutionize how we saw and understood the world.

Today's news and information comes tailored and flavored to fit not only its intended audience, but also its media masters; corporate sponsors and vetted interests from special lobbys, to name a few. Spin is the new power; as credit replaced the gold standard, as information replaced equity. In my own life I have actually witnessed, in American history, the redacting and rewriting of American history immediately touted as always true and blue.Sound medical practices became demonized to the point that forgotten afflictions have seen resurgence in western societies. Education, educators, and the value of both have become marginalized to the point where, for us Americans, we now live at a level of knowledge that can best be described as "meh" when compared to other developed nations. Scientific inquiry and evidence is thrown out in favor of colloquial "common sense".

The question becomes not so much "how did this happen" as "how did people let this happen?". In an age where you can learn nearly anything you want how are people coming to the oddest of conclusions?

Because there are folks out there just really good at making facts and evidence lie.

This isn't really a new thing, mind you. Have a good laugh at some of the dirty politics played in American elections during the nineteenth century. Seriously. Lobbys do it. Investment firms nearly bankrupted the country doing it. Even hand sanitizers do it. A scientist did it; going to bat for a commercial pharmaceutical he consulted for, doctoring his research findings to convince the world that vaccines caused autism.

To be a well informed, critical thinker, and participate in today's world with some measure of responsibility you have to take precautions. You can't get your news from just one source. If an expert is brought in, you need to scrutinize not only his credentials, but his connections. Was there a study? Well, who sponsored it? A media group isn't reporting a story, or so wildly different from everyone else? Who are their sponsors?

Wagging the dog is the art of any accomplished tail, for sure. To make sure you come down on the right side of things, it's important to arm yourself with facts and insight. To make sure you don't get played, it's important to be a critical thinker. To be righteous in deeds and mighty in action, you must first have a clear lay of the land. And to do that, you must be mindful of those who would obscure that view from you.

*Image credit: Fingers Crossed by Charlotte McKnight

40 quips in 40 days: day 36

Sometimes you need more than a catchy line - more than just a fist full of fine words - to get the thing across. So, today's Chuckism is a little different from the norm...

Chuckism #36
One day Mrs. Jones came into find her son, Junior, beating his head against the wall repeatedly to no end. Despite her best efforts she could not make him stop. Growing frantic she called the local psychologist to come help. Upon entering Junior's room, the shrink observed the situation and frantically asked; "Junior! V'hy are uz doin'k this unt yourselv?!" (German accent;go with it.)

Upon hearing the shrink, Junior stopped, pulled his now bloody head away from the wall, and looking at the shrink through hazy, cross eyed, near unconsciousness answered; "because it feels so good when I stop, doc."

I first heard this ditty many,many years ago, as a teenager, as my dad was working toward his certification as a mental health professional; part of his rehabilitational training following complications from long time repetitive injuries from years in construction that nearly took him from us. He had heard it during a class, himself, from one of the instructors. In the end I shortened it down to cut away a lot of the jargon and bull crap and to get to the real meat of the matter.

Choices, habits, and expectations.

We make so many choices based on so many habits and expectations that, sometimes - if not more so - we get into so many ruts that when we cut loose from them it's like some sort of soul lifting revelation, and not just the smart decision it should be. This could be for anything; money, friends, jobs, or even romantic relationships. We all fall victim to this, at some point, and to some level. And, for the most part, we usually manage to break free of this, with some varying degree of success for some period of time.

In many ways this is the another play on the old joke about the definition of crazy; doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. However this has the twist of being played from the other end; where the sudden realization that it's not playing out makes you come to your senses and you cheerfully set about to do it a different way... that still brings you back to the same point of frustration. (Guys who keep losing their shirts over the next big, easy thing or women who keep meeting all kinds of different jerks.)

There's no moral point, here; no resolution for troubles, no answers to vexing troubles. Just the accounting that we all have this problem. We all throw money at things, are hearts to people, or our energies to folk that got no want or love but to take it. Then we have a reckoning and profusely swear that that was it; no more! And then to get elated at our new found wisdom... until we're back at the wall, again, banging our head, waiting to stop so it can feel all better.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need an Aspirin...

40 quips in 40 days: day 37

Have I ever told you about surviving cancer? It's a side splitter; never fails to get a laugh...

Chuckism #37
Some of the best tales come from some of the worst woe.

I guess it's really no secret. Most of the comedies we see on TV and in movies usually center around how one person haphazardly tiptoes - or sometimes plods - through personal peril; romantic, emotional, or outrageous. Too true, as well, some of the most epic stories that thrill us usually involve some form of adversity; where all is close to lost.

From the tomes of mythology to the inspirational struggles of those set to bringing justice and equality to this world, there are few things that can move and inspire us then those whose story is one of come back or victory over the impossible, the vexing, and the sometimes all too fatal. or, sometimes even the down right wrong, bizarre, or plain dumb.

And it's not like you need to champion the cause of the weak, here. I mean, how many of us have sentimental memories of that first place having left home? remember that time at that party where you met that girl, but were so drunk that...?What about that time when you and your girlfriends were out for the night and got lost, went to the wrong place, and ended up in another party... at the other end of the state? Or that time you got drunk at Mardi Gras and totally kissed that gay guy because he loved your kilt and it made him faint?

What...? Ask me about it sometime.

Life is that thing that happens while we're busy making plans for life. And even the best stories have their ups and downs; much like a roller coaster. And, let's face it; a coaster that just goes up all the time isn't all that fun.

So, embrace your times; good and bad. Understand that these things are just moments in time; move over and let them pass. But live to tell the tale, and you'll always have something to talk about. Much like I realized, as a seventeen year old boy with needles in my arms and a pipe up my rear; laughing because one day I knew it was going to make a Hell of a story.

What...? Ask me about it sometime.

40 quips in 40 days: day 38

Chuckism #38
It's not the vulnerabilities that make the weakness.

So often we hear, especially today, about how someone has this, or is suffering from that; which is the reason they can't do this, or that. And, while it's sometimes the case that afflictions and ailments can, in deed, stay one's hand in life's whimseys and wind falls of a particular order, it's not the thing that actually holds a soul against living a life.

It's the failure to deal with them.

Now, that may sound like an arrogant concede, and perhaps it may be. But try and tell that to Professor Hawking; who is the preeminent mind on all things cosmic, and a few others. Stevie Wonder barely blinked at the idea he couldn't perform music. Franklin Roosevelt had the best seat in the house during his tenure in the White House. Helen Keller showed she had a lot to say in twelve books. And Beethoven never heard some of his most famous works. Of course, if that's a little cliche and heavy handed for you, consider this; with just one small slip during a meal out, I could have as little as six minutes to figure out how I am going to stay alive for a seventh.

I have a dangerous, potentially lethal food allergy that can turn some of the most ordinary, and most commonly enjoyed food and beverages into viral poisons. And this has not only robbed me of some of the more memorable rights of passage of the common American kid, but has, on occasion, made me the butt of ridicule from less than understanding kids, in my youth. It is very difficult to feel and lead a normal life when your family has to fuss with folks everywhere you go because you are... unique.

How does one deal? I discovered other foods that most kids my age had never heard of, let alone try. I discovered desserts and dishes from cultures and countries across the globe that I could not only enjoy, but relish in. And, because of that, I became open to the peoples of other lands, their music, the art, and their very way of life, sometimes. In essence, when kids were scarfing down ice cream, I was beginning to explore the world neighborhood I lived in, and my neighbors, as well; giving me a leg up on what it means to be a member of the human race.

Vulnerable? Okay, sure. And really, who isn't? But weak? I am anything but. Like the iron in the forge, it is being pushed to the brink, the pressing of vulnerabilities, that eventually gives us our greatest strengths.

Okay, sure, it's a lame vulnerability. But, hey, Green Lantern can be felled by any preschooler with a yellow crayon. So, there is that...

*Image credit: Chris Peters

40 quips in 40 days: day 39

Now that we've got these rolling, let's just refer to them as the "Chuckisms" that they are...

Chuckism #39
No matter how goodly your intentions, some folk just won't take to your feet in their kingdom.

This is one that just recently got itself reaffirmed about a week ago when I sat down to do some temp work at a children's charity and the Facilities manager there, in one simple look, pretty much decided he didn't like me, and I was no good for his establishment; regardless of how much I tried to show him my qualifications and dedication to his establishment.

And, really, there's not much you can say or do about it. You see, whether it's because they have had a bad day, suffered trauma, or are just not what we'd call agreeable, there are people in this world - at pretty much all levels - that are just going to not like you, no matter what. Maybe they've just dealt with bad news, or have an "issue", or maybe they were abused by an EC comic when they were young. (Okay, I know; pretty Chuck specific with that one.)

The point is, that no matter what the reason, they have a reason, and there ain't no course wide enough going to take you about those rough seas. It's one of the unfortunate truths in life. The trick is to know when it's happened, and try not to heap any blame or anger onto yourself for it.

Sometimes these folk stand in your path like a mighty wall. And maybe, once in a while, they will successfully block your path. But like all walls, it's just a matter of finding a way around. Or through, if your hammer is mighty enough.

Image credit: King Conan by Kamyu

40 quips of wisdom in 40 days ~or~ The noise I give myself as I get ready to turn 40...

So, as of today, February 7th, 2014, I have forty days left until I hit the forty year maker; noting as many trips around the sun. (That's more mileage - when you factor in Earth's rotations and revolutions - than I care to think on.) And, in a true cliche, I have amassed quite the little horde of "truths" that have helped to guide me to this point in life, for better or worse. So, here they are, in no particular order; one per day...

#40 "The hardest part of moving a boulder is the first push. After that it's all down hill."

Interestingly enough, this started more a positive inspiration; which I think is easy to see, at first glance. However, since I first uttered these words, a couple decades ago, it's become more of an observation on the musings of life and the consequences of our efforts, regardless of the goodly intent we may, or may not, put behind that drive wheel.

However, firstly definitions are still on merit for this; no matter what you get to doing, getting to doing is usually the hardest step. This could be starting your own business, mending of burnt bridges, confessing feelings, or even going back to school after nearly twenty years.

As for me? Well, my boulder hit a gully, and now it's back to getting that first push, again, so it can finish its tumble. I only hope I'm not already at the bottom of its path when it comes to a rest...

*Photo credit: Rachel Blum Spencer